Adolescence has surpassed Bridgerton to become one of the most watched Netflix series of all time. Not only is it compelling television, but it has also sparked widespread conversation about masculinity, prompting conversations in homes, classrooms, and policy circles. Its influence has been so significant that even the British Prime Minister has endorsed plans to screen it in secondary schools across the United Kingdom.
The current hype is reminiscent of 2023, when Ryan Gosling’s humorous ballad “I’m just Ken!” became a trendy conversation starter as Barbie secured the title for that year’s highest grossing movie globally. Along with blockbuster ticket sales, the movie also triggered an avalanche of think pieces, academic analysis and spirited debate.
The surge in reflection and commentary is welcomed, especially at a time when the most toxic expressions of masculinity are showing up daily in headlines and real life. But if we are serious about supporting boys, we must resist the temptation to confuse viral moments with systemic change.
It’s easy to join an online conversation but masculinity is not a hashtag. Boys need us to show up offline. We must meet boys where they are. In person. Consistently. To nurture their emotional and social growth.
While shows like Adolescence and films like Barbie spark vital conversations, talking about masculinity can be a privilege, and without action it easily becomes an overrated exercise. Besides, many men and boys are so burdened under the weight of patriarchal norms in an ever elusive quest to be “a real man” that this debate can be abstract and inaccessible for them. What they need most isn’t more discourse, but more connection.
Sir Gareth Southgate, former manager of England men’s national football team, recently spoke to this reality, lamenting that too many boys feel alone and unsupported. He recommends mentorship as a solution. And he is right — mentorship works.
Research consistently shows that high-quality mentoring relationships can significantly improve outcomes for boys and young men. According to a comprehensive study by MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership, youth with mentors are 55% more likely to enroll in college, 78% more likely to volunteer regularly, and 130% more likely to hold leadership positions compared to their peers without mentors. The same study found that mentored youth are also 46% less likely to start using illegal drugs and 27% less likely to begin drinking alcohol.
But not all mentorship is created equal. A mentor is not automatically a positive influence simply by being present. In fact, mentorship can be harmful if it reinforces rigid, destructive norms about manhood.
Mentorship should provide consistent relational support and help boys expand their definitions of manhood. There are many criteria that ensure its effectiveness, such as mentors modeling healthy masculinity, offering emotional and social guidance, and fostering autonomy in boys.
And the non-negotiable element should be that there are clear systems in place that protect boys from harm, including sexual abuse. This could look like mandatory background checks of mentors, trauma-informed training, ongoing supervision, and the establishment of transparent reporting mechanisms for any concerns that arise. The Elements of Effective Practice for Mentoring provides clear guidelines on working with children that individuals and organizations interested in mentorship should adhere to.
Safeguarding is the foundation of doing mentorship well and doing it safely. The last thing we would want is that Adolescence inspires an uptake in mentorship activities that is unsafe for boys, thus turning hype into harm.
Of course, TV shows and movies have their place. They can spark awareness and help surface uncomfortable truths. This matters. But neither Adolescence nor Barbie reveal anything new. They just resurface what we’ve known all along. That boys need safe spaces, trusted mentors, clear expectations, and unconditional love to thrive. And without these the consequences can be devastating as they are more vulnerable to being influenced by misogynistic and violent messages. This isn’t a mystery. The question now is whether we’ll turn that knowledge into collective action.
Our boys deserve more than hashtags. They shouldn’t have to wait until the next big hit in order to be seen. What they need now are systems of consistent support that outlast viral moments. When the movie ends and the credits begin to roll, our boys remain. For their sake, let us channel the buzz into sustained investment and tangible outcomes.