While every child needs loving parents, children also need aunties, uncles, and a host of other adults who are invested in their success to thrive. As childcare costs soar, aunties like us are becoming indispensable.
Last Sunday was National Aunt and Uncle’s Day. It passed with much less fanfare than Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, but for us it held profound meaning and was cause to acknowledge a bigger truth: that children’s futures are no longer being shaped solely by parents. If we want children to flourish, we need to broaden our understanding of who helps raise them.
In Black communities, “auntie” is more than a biological relationship. It’s a title of respect and responsibility. It reflects a long tradition of collective caregiving and extended family networks. What’s more, research suggests that relationships with aunts frequently help young people build confidence, navigate challenges, maintain family connections, and imagine possibilities for their future. And in many families, like our own, they are part mentor, part cheerleader, part safety net.
Although neither of us has children of our own, we spend a lot of time investing in the children in our lives. And as aunties, we have long played a role in helping our nieces and nephews learn and grow. One of us is spending this summer with four-year-old twin nieces, planning reading activities, library trips, and what she calls “Culture Camp.” The other helps her nephew with morning and evening routines, drop-offs to daycare, and serves as an emotional support system. We come from different daily contexts, but the same conviction.
While some critics argue that childbearing is a “natural expectation” for women, many young adults are still deciding whether parenthood is right for them, a lot of which is spurred on by economic challenges. Across the country, childcare costs are rising. As a result, more households are relying on multigenerational living arrangements to make caregiving financially possible.
One of us lives in Florida, where the cost of raising a child has climbed by roughly 10 percent in just one year, making it one of the nation’s most expensive states for families. Extended family support is more than a cultural tradition—it’s often an economic necessity. The other lives in Texas, where childcare costs have increased up to 5 percent in 2026. Annual childcare costs in the state have surpassed in-state tuition for Texas universities at roughly $10,000 annually. For parents, it not only takes a financial toll, but an emotional one as well.
Both of our families have felt this financial squeeze and we’ve both stepped in to help. Kamye and her husband welcome their four-year-old twin nieces into their home for a week at a time to help offset their relatives’ childcare costs. During those weeks, they prepare meals, care for scraped knees, and fill their days with library visits. Beverley cooks meals for her nephew, takes him to activities, and spends quality time with him to give her sister a breather. These are just some of the everyday ways aunties help families thrive.
That’s why, for us, conversations about declining birth rates feel incomplete without considering the economic disadvantage young adults are experiencing. We reject the idea that someone without children is somehow “under-babied.” That framing overlooks the countless adults who invest their time, resources, and love in the next generation.
Consider also that millennial and Gen Z aunties like us have grown up seeing women like Kamala Harris, Oprah Winfrey, and Tracee Ellis Ross make meaningful contributions to families and society without becoming mothers themselves. They are aunties. Their lives challenge the idea that caring for children begins and ends with parenthood.
So every time society offers up the wisdom that “It takes a village to raise a child,” let’s be honest and acknowledge that reality. With families increasingly facing financial and emotional pressures, the role of extended family has never been more important. And if, as a society, our measure of contribution to the next generation begins and ends with giving birth, then we are missing—and dismissing—the village that shows up each and every day.