Duct Tape and White Lies is a no-nonsense, supremely practical guidebook any woman business leader can use to navigate to a better future. Though it is targeted to women the advice offered (if applied) will work in anyone’s life regardless of sex.
The book promises to be as the author explains, a “real-life guide to create a life you love, no matter your age, status, or geographic location.” Throughout, Emily Lampkin uses real life examples to show successes and pitfalls.
Perhaps the best thing about her book is that the advice she provides doesn’t require you to have “reached a certain stage” in life in order to tap into. She offers hope for her readers – a hope that will allow them to start exactly where they are and help them get to where they want to be.
Her biggest secret for women is to realize that they have talents and skills that while under-developed or unrecognized, already exist and can be tapped into. She says: “Your superpowers are the innate traits that you were born with. These “baked in” qualities are your special abilities.”
She explains that successful “Women Leaders excelled at three fundamentals: Selling or promoting their abilities and talents — Branding, building their networks of contacts – Widening the circle, and thirdly, “going now” committing to taking the steps that will lead to advancement.
Lest a reader thinks that becoming a successful woman leader means dropping the important responsibilities and commitments that are already in place, Lampkin doesn’t suggest that women give up worship, entertainment, family time or even your hobbies. She just wants you to be more intentional about the discretionary time that remains.
She cautions women to be realistic about the things that make up their remaining discretionary time. Women, she says, should use the “CTRL, ALT, DEL” approach to eliminate distractions to free up time for success.
This insight (while obvious if you really focus) is second nature for mothers. I can recall as a kid in junior high struggling to come up with a creative idea for a home school project. Even though I had waited till the last minute to let my parents know that the project was due, my mother reacted in her typically unflappable way – instead of spending an inordinate amount of time on why I had waited so long – she walked into the laundry room picked up a few items and immediately offered up 3 project ideas. Two of them I hated and one I could barely tolerate. Here’s the thing. The teacher loved the idea and gave me an A.
Even with her talents, my mother could have definitely benefited from this read. She was perhaps one of the most organized people I ever knew and yet she often wasn’t recognized at work for her accomplishments – at least not by her colleagues. Some actually criticized her organization. But she just stayed focus on doing a great job.
Turn Your Weaknesses into Strengths
Mrs. Cooper could have benefited from this insight.
See, she thought that actually doing the work was enough. But Emily Lampkin realizes that successfully accomplishing tasks is just the starting point. She urges women who want to be successful to lean into their strengths.
Avoid the Dream Slashers
Duct Tape and White Lies is filled with real-world examples. Successful women overcome the “Dream Slashers” a term she coined. It describes the “thoughts, actions, habits, and people” that successful women leaders don’t allow to get in the way.
Things like: Once I get a little bit older…”
Once I have the first $10,000 of investment money…”
Once I lose twenty pounds…”
Once my kids are older…
She says these “Dream Slashers” if allowed to go unimpeded will stop a woman from achieving her goals.
Always follow the 200/20/2 Rule
Later Lampkin continues with easily to comprehend techniques such as her 200/20/2 Rule:
If 200 people will notice: Do it.
If 20 people will notice: Do it, but don’t spend too much
time or money on it.
If 2 people will notice: Skip it.
In this case, Emily used Christmas decorations at her home as a great example. She demonstrates that even a project that many families enjoy like decorating can benefit from a refinement strategy.
She shows that a successful leader would target decorating in a way that will maximize impact rather than focus on tasks that are “too small or fussy.”
Have a Space for Success
Another simple idea – keep the dining room table clean. Emily explains that having a place where creative ideas can be carried out is a huge step to having a space for creative ideas to flourish.
But the book has many more tools. One of the huge ways of moving towards success she explains is that women need to stop caring as much about what others will say or think about their success. Successfully managing the achievement of your hopes and dreams while maintaining the important pre-existing commitments may not be easy, but its achievable.
Hate the Game, Not the Player
Even when those skeptics in your network imply or say outright that a successful woman is failing to meet her primary responsibilities, Emily suggests ignoring them. The successful woman knows the truth and that’s enough.
Ultimately “Duct Tape and White Lies” is an amazing handbook that gives women the permission they need to believe that the power and ability to be a success on their own terms is not just conceivable, but it can actually happen.