Male loneliness and disengagement are quietly becoming the most pressing social issues in modern American society, particularly in young men aged 15 to 29. As a young man myself, I have seen firsthand how prevalent disconnection is amongst my peers and how difficult it is to find a sense of belonging in a world that provides men little room for emotional vulnerability. In the age of social media, when schools, society, and communities fail to provide guidance and support, young men often find themselves turning to the most prominent (and sometimes most harmful) voices online.
According to recent studies, young men have reported fewer friendships and emotional connections than in the past. One study conducted by Western Oregon University found that 15% of men claim they have no real friendships. Young men today feel more isolated, misunderstood, and without a sense of belonging than ever before. I attribute this epidemic of disconnection to the lack of positive, accessible male role models.
Many young men are primarily growing up without any concrete guidance on how to be emotionally healthy, connected, and self-aware. Instead, they are taught a path to success that is built upon performance and surface-level competition, isolating many men and leaving them searching for a sense of home and belonging.
The current generation of young men and boys lacks the ability to talk about what they are going through. In the era of social media, the consequences of this silence are visible everywhere. Without these real-world supports or connections, young men find a home in internet communities promising a better life and preaching messages about strength and masculinity. While reaffirming positive ideas such as discipline and toughness, these influencers, commonly under the “Red Pill” movement, often promote significant harmful messaging about society, women, and what it means to be a man. They reinforce the primary problems that lead men down a path of loneliness, painting vulnerability as weakness and any form of emotional expression as soft. But they are so effective in their messaging because they feel relatable to millions of men across the country.
Unlike celebrities and professional athletes, who can feel distant at times, these influencers are often normal people, making their messages more direct and effective. Their content creates a one-on-one experience that speaks individually to every viewer and listener. In contrast, when a multi-millionaire singer addresses their audience about an issue, it can feel impersonal and disconnected because their message is directed to hundreds of millions of people.
On the other hand, when a young man can call into an influencer’s show, be heard, and validated, it is impactful and creates a sense of belonging. It becomes less like watching content and more like talking to your best friend.
This accessibility makes their content powerful and also dangerous. Once a sense of trust and belonging is created, influencers are free to spread whatever messages and beliefs to their viewers and listeners. Misogyny, conspiracy theories, and radical political beliefs are sold not as possibilities, but as definite reality and truth. We are already witnessing the consequences today. This issue is not only a social one, but a political one.
According to the AP Poll, in the 2024 Presidential election, President Donald Trump earned 56% of the young men’s vote, an immense swing from the 41% he obtained in his 2020 election loss. This surge is not a coincidence: the far-right, more specifically the MAGA movement, has effectively filled the emotional void that men are experiencing with ideas of dominance and control. The question is, where are the voices from the left, willing to speak and listen to young men with openness rather than with dismissiveness? Where are the spaces in our education where we can teach boys to talk and communicate, while still pursuing academic and extracurricular excellence?
I never learned how to communicate my emotions properly, even with my closest friends. It was only when a friend of mine called to tell me about the immense pressure and struggles he was experiencing that I realized how deeply ingrained this issue is in us. We are all taught, whether subliminally or explicitly, that expressing our emotions and seeking help are weaknesses. Even when talking to our best friends, it is the norm to keep our feelings secondary. If we as a society continue to fail young men and boys again and again, we are aiding in the creation of a more violent and hateful world.